On Women’s Liberation, Manhood and My Wife

Beaker talks about Women’s Liberation movement, what manhood means, and explains why he is okay with me making more money than he does. My story “Why I Lied About Money” made him want to write this post. This is his point of view…

I truly believe that we are a product of our environment.

I grew up in a generation that was labeled as the generation that didn’t care about anything, that didn’t have a work ethic. We expected everything that we wanted to be given to us. Our generation was lovingly called Generation X.

I grew up learning about Civil Rights, Women’s Liberation, and that there is no longer “free love” for everyone without a consequence. Thus, I learned to respect my fellow man no matter what color of their skin. I learned that women deserve to be treated as equals. And I learned to always use a condom.

Our Generation X was expected to respect a woman’s choice to start a family, have a career, or both. The Women’s Liberation was about women breaking old stereotypes and trying to live their lives free and equal. Now women are in more control of their lives than ever, and I say, “Good for you”. I am not being sarcastic.

Being a man for me is not necessarily being the bread winner and making all the financial decisions in our family.

I believe that being a man means loving and supporting your spouse, and helping make tough decisions. Sometimes I have to play the role of the “mean” man who says, “Hey, do you really need another hat you are not going to wear?” That one is tough, and usually gets me into trouble.

Men were also liberated from the stereotypical roles of the past. But these new roles are meeting the same resistance that women meet in the work place. Women have to deal with making less money than men do performing the same job. In comparison, men get asked questions about their “manhood” if their wives make more then them. Haven’t we progressed as a society to get beyond these stereotypes? It seems silly to me that more people don’t try and think outside the box to broaden their horizons to new ideas, and new ways of living their lives.

I like to think that my generation has had to implement the ideas from the generation before ours.

We have had to live outside their norms and make new roles for men and women in society. We had to, or we would be left behind clinging to old ways of thinking and outdated stereotypes that needed to be changed for the betterment of all of us.

I was asked recently how I feel about my wife making more money then I do. First and foremost, I am proud of her because she has worked damn hard to get to where she is. I also know that I had something to do with her getting to where she is now. So, in truth, I am proud of both of us because we have worked very hard to get to where we are.

For me, there is no “her money“ or “my money“, there is only our money. I know that together we are going to achieve any goal we have set for ourselves. Together we are going to succeed. I believe this because of the way my generation was taught to respect and treat women, as equals.

When someone asks me if I feel like less of a man because my wife makes more then I do, I tell them “no”, and that they need to look up this thing called Women’s Liberation.